I am sure there is a book out there with that title and I have to say .... right now im just not feeling it.
Obviously for the past 4 years you have heard me wax poetically about how lovely our little girl Lacey is and what a pleasure it is to have a pet. Now you may have heard on and off about the newest addition to our family Tilly and for a while I have hesistated to tell you just what a terror she is.
You see we kind of thought - if you just ignore it, if you pretend it doesnt exist maybe just maybe it will go away. But after a good 3 months of torture I think its time to admit the truth.
MY DOG IS A TERROR.
Thats right, Tilly the sweet adorable little puppy above is actually the devil re-incarnate. Im sure she doesnt mean any of it, Im sure she tries very hard to please .... ok well even thats not true, she doesnt try and please, I may as well admit it. Now if that wasnt enough, she has actually influencing the formerly sweet Lacey into moving to the dark side. Who would of thought dogs could be induced to naughtyness through peer pressure.
I don't think its possible for me to go through EVERY single misdeed but let me give you a snapshot of the adventures of Tilly.
- We were kicked out of puppy pre-school for peeing on the scales and then rolling around in it. Ok we wern't kicked out but retreated in shame.
- She has eaten over $250 worth of apple cables so far with no real hope of stopping
- She has managed to break in or out of every single space in both our and our parents house
- We have retreated from 3 beaches in shame as she screams whenever she sees another dog so loud everyone would think I am pulling her legs off one at a time
- She has peed in both of Lacey's baskets on nearly a weekly basis.
- She has shredded a carrot into teeny tiny pieces on my lovely shag pile carpet - I am still finding spots of orange
- She leaps into the pool, the shower, the pond, her water bowl and the sprinklers and then continued to tear around the house leaving a pool of water in her wake
- She knows how to wind down the window while I'm driving causing me contort myself just so I can try and drag her back into the car by her tail (NOTE: I'm not stupid, we now use the window lock)
- She has nearly drowned herself trying to retrieve a bone she dropped into the water bowl
- She has pulled every single feather off my favourite pair of peacock feathered shoes
- She has but almost a wheelbarrow full of sand into our lounge room by digging to china right next to the doggy door
- She cries and barks at me when we drive to my mum and dads if she doesn't feel she is going fast enough
- and to top it all off .... she has tripped me both up and down the stairs 6 times now .... that's right, 6 times I have fallen up or down the stairs.
One day she will grow into a beautiful calm little dog but right now Mr V's terrible pet is fast becoming the bane of my existence. My one big question ... why on earth would I consider having a child if i cant control one itty bitty little dog!