So a bit of a double post today guys - this isn't a house related post but more of a philosophical question.
I have recently been hurt by a very very close friend, the relationship is over, not because if anything I have done, the simple fact is, I am happy and she cant bare to be around me anymore "apparently".
Before I continue let me say, I have plenty of friends, people to have coffee with and chat with and have a great deal of fun with but when I say best friend I mean that person who is almost as close to you as your mother or partner. The one that you just cant imagine living without.
Anyways, the after affects of this, I have to say, rival a break up and it hurts alot. It hurts that someone can throw years of friendship away over something so silly. The even sillier thing is that I don't want to get close to anyone again, I tell myself I'm perfectly happy on my own and I just don't know if I want to risk getting hurt again.
Its funny but I had this discussion with a group of married friends the other day and most of them said, if they ever lost their other half they probably wouldn't risk trying again, losing someone that close to you is always going to be hard but does this make us cold, does this make us hermits, are we now too afraid to get hurt we are not even going to take a risk?
I would love to say I'm brave enough to try, to say screw it... there are so many good memories of course its worth it! However now I'm on the other side of the fence, those good memories all feel tainted now, whenever I see a photo, or get reminded of something we did I just feel hurt and afraid and to be honest, I never want to risk it.... maybe its just for now, maybe it will get easier as time passes by and I relax my guard... you never know.
I wonder if this is a recent thing, I wonder if our expectations have become just to high, do we expect too much from others when we are not prepared to jump ourselves.... or perhaps friendship has just become another disposable item, replace it with something or someone else when it no longer suits?
Now that is a truly sad thought don't you think?