Thursday, May 19, 2011

Has Friendship Become a Disposable Item?

So a bit of a double post today guys - this isn't a house related post but more of a philosophical question.

I have recently been hurt by a very very close friend, the relationship is over, not because if anything I have done, the simple fact is, I am happy and she cant bare to be around me anymore "apparently".

Before I continue let me say, I have plenty of friends, people to have coffee with and chat with and have a great deal of fun with but when I say best friend I mean that person who is almost as close to you as your mother or partner. The one that you just cant imagine living without.

Anyways, the after affects of this, I have to say, rival a break up and it hurts alot. It hurts that someone can throw years of friendship away over something so silly. The even sillier thing is that I don't want to get close to anyone again, I tell myself I'm perfectly happy on my own and I just don't know if I want to risk getting hurt again.

Its funny but I had this discussion with a group of married friends the other day and most of them said, if they ever lost their other half they probably wouldn't risk trying again, losing someone that close to you is always going to be hard but does this make us cold, does this make us hermits, are we now too afraid to get hurt we are not even going to take a risk?

I would love to say I'm brave enough to try, to say screw it... there are so many good memories of course its worth it! However now I'm on the other side of the fence, those good memories all feel tainted now, whenever I see a photo, or get reminded of something we did I just feel hurt and afraid and to be honest, I never want to risk it.... maybe its just for now, maybe it will get easier as time passes by and I relax my guard... you never know.

I wonder if this is a recent thing, I wonder if our expectations have become just to high, do we expect too much from others when we are not prepared to jump ourselves.... or perhaps friendship has just become another disposable item, replace it with something or someone else when it no longer suits?

Now that is a truly sad thought don't you think?


MDZZJ said...

It is hard when friendships break up only the two friends will ever understand what truly happened. We were besties throughout high school each others bridesmaids at our weddings and our friendship continued well in to our 30s. People and circumstances change it is nearly 10 years since we have spoken I still wish her well. Google this one I refer to it often
People Come into Your Life For A Reason, Season or Life Time

Helen M said...

Unfortunately people DO change, they move on with what they peceive to be suitable for them. Sometimes in life, our closest friends turn out to be our truest enemies, especially if we are succeeding somewhere in life that they can't/won't, sad as it may be people only want to know you when you are down and not necessarily when you are achieving all your hopes and dreams.

Miss Vintage said...

Thanks Guys - Im back to my normal self today. Im obviously still sad because i have lost her (even though its been many months since it all came about) but realise that I have so many positive things going on that I wont let it get me down. Im lucky to have a positive place to vent my feelings without feeling like a total idiot!

jodie said...

Miss Vintage,
I know exactly how you feel. Late last year I had a similar thing happen to me with a very close friend just after we started our new house and booked our overseas trip. It devastated me. I have never understood friends not being able to support each other through bad as well as good times.

You have wonderful things happening in your life (as I see from your lovely blog) so try not to let her bring you down and focus on the positive things that are happening in your life. Friends like that come (and go) for a reason. You will be a better person for it.

I still get very sad too... but I keep telling myself that if she destroys my soul, she has won. Over time the wounds will heal.