Let me start this post by saying I'm not a young starry eyed teenager who still equates love to the earth shattering, passion filled Romeo and Juliet, Titanic ect style tragedies.
Because of our lifestyle I'm a fairly independent type of a girl. I spend large chunks of time alone and instead of pining and counting down the hours until he comes home I try to live my life to the fullest I can and him coming home was a highlight instead of the be all and end all.
Now this has worked fairly well, until recently. If you told me 5 years ago, before I got married it was only going to get better I wouldn't believe you. I mean, in my head everything loses its shine, and that's not saying its all going to go downhill but it will settle and become comfortable. Instead, what I have found I is that I have fallen even more in love with my husband now than I think I have ever been before. My feelings towards him seem to get stronger every time he gets in the car to go to the airport and when he comes home its as though I can finally breath again.
I also need to stress that I am certainly not a romantic so for me this is not only a bit surreal but a little bit scary. He makes me happy, he keeps me happy and when hes not around im just that little bit less happy than I was. Is it bad that I rely on him so much? Is it scary that he can change my mood just be being or not being around?
I do realise how very lucky I am to have him, he is to me, absolutely perfect (well not perfect, he still can't hang washing out correctly) .... and here comes another cliche ... he makes me a better person, a happier person, my life is fuller because of him. Even though our lifestyle is difficult, I wouldn't change a thing.
The butterflies as I wait at the arrivals gate and the feeling of joy when I first see him is something to be so so thankful for and I am, because without him life wouldn't be quite so bright and I wouldn't smile quite so much without him.
So there you have it, a revelation for me when it comes to my version of love. Just like a good wine it seems to just get better with age, stronger and more potent. I just have to cross my fingers and pray that neither one of us lets go of that bottle.