Firstly I want to apologies for not being all "there" lately and as a blog is supposed to be used in order to capture my thoughts and feelings, (as well as my fabulous house) after much soul searching I have decided to share my latest angst.
Now from reading my blog you will all know that I am a big one for planning. My life is planned and orderly and easy for me to live by. Stressful changes make my head hurt and to be honest, I am happy with the way my life is mapped out, I plan my holidays a year in advance, I have held the same job for 5 years now and I lovee how safe and orderly my life seems to be.
Recently changes in my work life have made me seriously consider my future and obviously for me this is one of those stomach turning moments I would really love to just hide under the covers from. For the past two weeks when I haven't really been "all there" there is a good possibility I was hiding under the covers .... virtual covers that is! .... I hid from the fact that something's gotta give.
I would also very much like to think I'm a fairly level headed person, although I like things just so I'm not particularly flighty and I'm certainly not overly dramatic however changes within my new working team have made my work life less than pleasant. Its like being back in school only now I have choices. I don't have to put up with bullying or nastiness .... I can leave.
Here is the thing .... leaving means a new job which means change ..... and for me that is scary. Not just normal scary but sick to my stomach, dizzy and light headed and having trouble breathing type of scary.
I know I can do it I just don't want to ... however I am a big girl and I need to put my big girl knickers on. So decision is made! I am going to make a change .... I am going to get a new job.
I will try to keep you updated on the trials and tribulations that will no doubt accompany these changes and hopefully with you listening it may make things not quite so difficult for me ...
As my husband kindly tells me .... Deep Breaths honey .... In and Out!